"Prayer is your declaration of Dependence. When you don’t pray it’s your declaration of independence. It’s your way of saying 'I can do this without God.'" (Unknown)
God prompted us to encourage you to pray for your spouse (or the person you will marry) and for yourselves this week. If you aren’t regularly praying for your spouse we hope this will be a new beginning for you. Your marital partner needs you to uphold him/her in prayer. If not you… then who will? Also, who should? For those of you who do pray often for your spouse we hope this message will bless their hearts and yours. And for those of you who aren’t yet married, you can pray for your future spouse. The prayers we will feature for this message are found in the excellent books, “The Power of a Praying Wife” and from “The Power of a Praying Husband,” both are written by Stormie Omartian, along with her husband Michael. The first is for the wife to pray. You can use it as an outline, to pray as God inspires, or use these very words, putting your heart into it: “Lord, help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don’t have what it takes to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things. …Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace, and joy (Galatians 5:22-23). “I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only You can transform me. Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband. I confess the times I’ve been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward him. Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way You do —totally and completely, no looking back. Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace, & healing in this marriage. “Lord, I pray for Your protection on my husband’s mind. Shield him from the lies of the enemy. Help him to clearly discern between your voice and any other, and show him how to take every thought captive as You have instructed us to do. “You’ve said in Your Word that ‘there is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love’ (I John 4:18). I pray You will perfect my husband in your love so that tormenting fear finds no place in him. I know you have not given him a spirit of fear. You’ve given him power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). I pray in the name of Jesus that fear will not rule over my husband. Instead, may Your Word penetrate every fiber of his being, convincing him that Your love for him is far greater than anything he faces and nothing can separate him from it.” Heavenly Father, tune up the ears of my husband’s heart to hear the call You have on his life. “Help him to realize who he is in Christ and give him certainty that he was created for a high purpose. May the eyes of his understanding be enlightened so that he will know what is the hope of Your calling (Ephesians 1:18). Lord, when you call us, You also enable us. Enable him to walk worthy of his calling and become the man of God You made him to be. Continue to remind him of what You’ve called him to and don’t let him get sidetracked with things that are unessential to your purpose. Strike down discouragement so that it will not defeat him. Lift his eyes above the circumstances of the moment so he can see the purpose for which You created him.” The following are prayers for the husband to use as an outline during prayer time for your wife, or to use these words, with your heart being expressed to God for your his wife: “Lord, create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me (Psalm 51:10). Show me where my attitude and thoughts are not what You would have them to be, especially toward my wife. Convict me when I am being unforgiving. Help me to let go of any anger, so that confusion will not have a place in her mind. If there is behavior in me that needs to change, enable me to make changes that last. Whatever You reveal to me, I will confess to You as sin. Make me a man after your own heart. “…I pray that You will bring my wife and me to a place of unity with one another. Make us be of the same mind. Show me what I need to do in order to make that come about. Give me words that heal, not wound. Fill my heart with Your love so that what overflows through my speech will be words that build up, not tear down. Convict my heart when I don’t live your way. Help me to be the man and husband that You want me to be. “Father, as much as I love my wife, I know You love her more. I realize that I cannot meet her every need and expectation, but you can. I pray that You will give her the fulfillment of knowing You in a deeper and richer way than she ever has before. Help her to be diligent and steadfast in her walk with You. Make her strong in spirit and give her an ever-increasing faith that always believes that You will answer her prayers. “I pray for my wife and ask that You would calm her spirit, soothe her soul, and give her peace today. Drown out the voice of the enemy, who seeks to entrap her with lies. Help her to take every thought captive so she is not led astray (2 Corinthians 10:5). Where there is error in her thinking, I pray You would reveal it to her and set her back on course. Help her to hear Your voice only. Fill her afresh with Your Holy Spirit and wash away anything in her that is not of You. “Lord, I pray that You would help my wife to ‘be anxious for nothing’ (Philippians 4:6). Remind her to bring all her concerns to You in prayer so that Your peace that passes all understanding will permanently reside in her heart. ... Teach me to recognize the ploy of the enemy every time he tries to steal life from my wife by bringing fear to torment her. I stand against any enemy attacks targeted at my wife, and I say that a spirit of fear will have no place in her life. Strengthen her faith in You, Lord, to be her Defender.” ………………………………………………. There is nothing better you can do for your marriage than to pray for and pray with one another. When you do, God draws you closer together as you unite your heart with His. It is the prayer of our hearts that God will bless you in such a way that as others see how you treat your spouse, they will be attracted to the love of God, and will want to know our God better! Cindy and Steve Wright “Do you swear to speak the whole truth, and nothing by the truth, so help you God?”
That’s an oath used here in the United States that is asked to those who are going to give a testimony in a court of law. We’d like to ask you a similar question, “Do you want to LIVE BY the whole truth, and nothing but the truth as it pertains to marriage, so help you God?” There are a lot of myths we can grab onto that need to be exposed to the truth of the God’s Word, the Bible. So for this Marriage Message we’d like to share with you 10 of the myths and truths (backed up by scripture) concerning marriage that are listed in the book, “Marriage! The Journey,” written by Anne Trippe. Anne includes in the book more explanations concerning these myths, but this is a good start (you can read more, if you can obtain the book). And that way you will know if you are living by “the whole truth” and not just something you assume is true. Here’s what Anne wrote: 10 MYTHS VS. TRUTH: 1. MYTH: I am responsible for my spouse’s or another’s emotional well-being. I must apologize if he or she isn’t okay or if they do something wrong (or) I am accountable to God for my spouse. TRUTH: Each one shall give account of himself to God (Romans 14:12). I cannot rescue my brother by any means. Each person eats the fruit of his own way (Proverbs 1:31). (Psalm 49:7) 2. MYTH: Real men do not show they need help. TRUTH: When I humble myself before God, in due time He exalts me (1 Peter 5:6). Pride comes before a fall (Proverbs 16:18). 3. MYTH: I must get respect from my mate and others to know I am of worth. TRUTH: I am called to love and to serve others and consider them better than myself (Philippians 2:3). Pride comes before destruction and shame (Proverbs 11:2; Proverbs 16:18). I am to become of “no reputation” and be a servant (Philippians 2:5-8). He has made me accepted and perfect (Ephesians 1:6; Hebrews 10:14). 4. MYTH: My peace is tied to my spouse’s and/or others’ opinions and to my being treated fairly. To be fulfilled, I am entitled to my spouse treating me the way the Lord commands him/her to. TRUTH: Jesus Christ is my peace and gives me peace (John 14:2). I am in perfect peace as my mind is fixed on Him. As I humble myself, I’ll enjoy peace (Psalm 37:11; Isaiah 26:3). I will remain lonely unless I die to my own way of trying to make things work for me (John 12:24). He wants to fill me, and my loneliness with Himself. I am to find my completeness in Christ (Colossians 3:3, Ephesians 5:17, 18). I’m not entitled to others meeting my needs. My needs are met in Christ. I am complete in Him. He will fill me (Philippians 4:19; Ephesians 5:17, 18; Colossians 2:10). 5. MYTH: Husbands and wives should complete each other. TRUTH: Each has been made complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10). 6. MYTH: I can’t help being depressed and without hope if my circumstances don’t change. TRUTH: Christ gives me hope and a garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness (Psalm 16:11, 27:14, 31:24; Isaiah 61:3; Romans 15:13). Hope is not based on circumstances, but is only in Christ (Romans 15:13; 1 Timothy 1:1; Colossians 1:27). 7. MYTH: If I am treated unfairly, it makes me a doormat. TRUTH: Even though trials and unfairness will come to all, the Lord has made me who I am. Tribulation and trials will come to all, beginning with God’s people. But Christ has overcome these things on my behalf (1 Peter 1:6; 4:12, John16:33). He has plans for my good and desires to satisfy me with good things (Psalm 103:5; Jeremiah 29:11). After I have experienced a trial, trusting Him, He will establish, strengthen and perfect me (1 Peter 5:10). Those reviling my good behavior shall be put to shame (1 Peter 3:17). As I walk in righteousness, no weapon formed against me shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). I am perfect in Christ; one Spirit with Him (Hebrews 10:14; 1 Corinthians6:17). I have been made accepted by Him (Ephesians 1:6). Christ died that I would be the righteousness of God in Him (2 Corinthians 5:21). 8. MYTH: If I punish my spouse or others, then they will love me and give me what I need. TRUTH: I will eat the fruit of my own way. I will reap what I sow. If I sow to the flesh, I will reap corruption! As I am unselfish and love my spouse and others (sow to the Spirit), I will reap that eternal life of Christ’s sufficiency for me. (Matthew 5:46; Galatians 6:7, 8; Proverbs 1:31) 9. MYTH: I must “fix and direct” if things are to go right for me, and if I am going to be secure and at peace. (I must control interactions and circumstances.) TRUTH: God will work all things together for me if I love Him and am called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). He is faithful and will cause it to happen (1 Thessalonians 5:24). God works His will in the army of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth (Daniel 4:35); God will accomplish that which concerns me (Psalm 138:8). 10. MYTH: If the Lord cared about me, He would give me a person to fill my loneliness —make me complete and fulfilled. I need a person to complete me. TRUTH: I will remain lonely unless I die to my own way of trying to make things work for me (John 12:24). He wants to fill me, and my loneliness with Himself. I am to find my completeness in Christ (Colossians 3:3, Ephesians 5:17, 18). We hope the Lord exposed the myths you may have held in the past and ministered in His Truth. Today can be a new beginning in your marriage as you allow the truth of God to set you free to become the spouse God knew you could live up to all along. Cindy and Steve Wright “Patience—the very word can cause us to roll our eyes. That’s because when
we think of patience, we think of waiting. And we don’t like to wait… Waiting can be painful and difficult—especially when it comes to our need for change in marriage. But God says that waiting is good. That’s because it produces patience in us.” (Stormie Omartian) Isn’t that true? We think so. We also think you’ll benefit from reading what else Stormie has to say on this subject from an article that appeared in the summer 2005 edition of Marriage Partnership Magazine www.marriagepartnership.com. Pray, read, and apply what God shows you: The apostle Paul tells us that patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit—in other words, patience is a byproduct of God’s work within us. He describes it as “long-suffering” (Galatians 5:22), a word that, according to Webster’s dictionary, means “long and patient enduring of injury, trouble, or provocation.” Can you think of a marriage that doesn’t require “long-suffering”? I know a couple in which the husband is always on time and his wife frequently runs late. When he taps his fingers loudly, grows angry, and paces anxiously while spewing stinging barbs, he doesn’t practice patience! He’s waiting, yes. But it’s forced waiting and it never accomplishes what he hopes it will. Neither does silently fuming. Patience and a good attitude go hand in hand. Patience is deciding that his mate is worth the wait and doing it calmly. On the other hand, his wife, who runs perpetually late, needs to show patience with her husband’s various expressions of impatience. Paul makes it clear that not only are we supposed to desire patience, we’re to pursue it (1 Timothy 6:11). If you’re like me, the thought of pursuing patience doesn’t bring forth shouts of joy and excitement! But when we chase patience, it pleases God. Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:1-2: “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” So how do we pursue patience? • Pray. Ask God for it. Prayer has an amazing way of helping us become more patient. Let’s be honest, though, prayer is about the last thing we feel like doing when our patience is being tested, isn’t it? But we can pray about whatever is causing us to be impatient. For example, my friend can pray for his wife who’s always late and ask God how he can help her be on time. Maybe she’s overloaded with too much to do. Or she tries to fit too much into a day. Or she’s trying to be perfect. On the flip side, she can ask God to help her be better organized, or have a clearer concept of time and how much of it is needed in order to accomplish all she needs to do. Whatever the case, remember that each prayer, even when it seems to be about the same old thing, has new life in it each time you pray it. Prayer sets something in motion, even your spouse—though that may not seem immediately detectable. • Make a mental adjustment. I’ve found one of the best ways to develop patience is to think of my waiting times as “waiting on the Lord.” So instead of waiting on my husband to change, I think of waiting on the Lord to work changes in him—and in me! Waiting on the Lord gives me the sense that something is going on. I just can’t see it at the moment. But I wait with eager anticipation to see what God is going to do. • Be thankful. Every time we lose our patience, we can stop and thank God for keeping His with us. The apostle Paul reminds us: “Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus” (Romans 15:5, NKJV). We can thank him for his desire and willingness to give us the peace that passes all understanding, and for helping us rest in his perfect timing. If we are to “consider it pure joy” when we go through trials (James 1:2), how much more are we to do that in the daily trials that occur in our marriage? • Keep quiet. Through my own marriage, I’ve discovered that patience means biting my tongue when I feel like speaking. It means learning to “shut up and pray” when I’d rather “open up and vent.” For many years I thought that telling my husband my every thought—as I was thinking it—was “constructive communication.” (Isn’t that what a good marriage needs?) But it was destructive instead, because my husband wasn’t ready to hear all that. It actually pushed us further apart. When I learned to pray more than I talked, things started to improve. • Don’t give up. Patience means learning not to give up when it looks as though your spouse is never going to change, or when it seems as if the things that bother you are never going to be any different. My husband’s anger was always the biggest problem for me in our marriage. I came into the marriage with a lot of hurt from the past, and his temper caused me to hurt even more and withdraw from him. Because anger is a hard habit to break, especially when a person has entertained it for a long time, things grew only worse as time went on. But as I learned to react less and not take each angry outburst personally, and as I learned to pray more for him about every aspect of his life, I saw God make changes in my husband that I could never have imagined. His anger gradually manifested less and less frequently and intensely. Whenever you’re faced with an irritating trait in your mate, turn to God and praise him as the God of the impossible. Thank him that because all things are possible with him (Mark 10:27), you know that only he can make changes that last in your marriage. Invite him to do just that. • Grow your faith. Patience means working on growing deeper in your relationship with God, especially when it appears that the only thing growing deeper in your life is the divide between you and your mate. Patience means remembering that it could be worse, and deliberately looking for the good in the other person. Patience means expressing the positive when you want to point out the negative. It’s deciding to overlook some irritating things and, instead, think about the eternal future set before you. This means knowing that because you didn’t divorce when you considered it, but determined to be patient instead, your whole family can now celebrate holidays and birthdays and life together. The most important reason of all to pursue patience is that it’s one of God’s attributes. When we’re patient, we’re more like him. The apostle James writes that the testing of our faith produces patience, and patience perfects us and makes us complete so that we lack nothing (James 1:2-4). So each time you find yourself in a situation where you have to make yourself pursue patience, try to think about how perfect and godlike you’re becoming. It really helps. "What increases the likelihood of a child living in poverty, dropping out
of school, and becoming a juvenile delinquent? What increases the probability of a child abusing alcohol, taking drugs, engaging in sexual promiscuity and committing suicide? What cripples hundreds of thousands of young people when they marry and creates fear, insecurity, and a higher likelihood that their marriages will not last a lifetime? It's divorce, divorce, divorce." (Dennis Rainey) We need to work to curb all of the divorcing that's happening to the best of our ability and put the heart of Christ back into marriage, where He has been crowded out. We need to reclaim the sacredness of marriage. Read what Dennis Rainey, the Executive Director of Family Life Today (Familylife.com) says on this subject (adapted from his book, "One Home at a Time"): "Marriage is not just a private experiment, littered with prenuptial agreements and an attitude of 'Try me out! If it doesn't work, you can always bail out!' Marriage is not some kind of social contract --something you just 'do' for as long as you both shall 'love.' Marriage is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman, and their God for a lifetime. It is a public vow of how you will relate to your spouse as you form a new family unit. "Any covenant --including the marriage covenant, is a binding, weighty obligation. In Proverbs 20:25, we read, 'It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows.' God says, 'I hate divorce' (Malachi 2:16). The Lord didn't stutter when He spoke these words. It is time for us to embrace and proclaim God's sacred view of marriage, as well as His corresponding hatred for divorce. [MARRIAGE MISSIONS NOTE: While God hates the act of divorce, He does not hate the divorcee.] "Reclaiming the sanctity of marriage begins with several commitments: "COMMITMENT #1: Do Not Get Married Unless You Plan to Keep Your Vows. Both churches and individuals have a holy trust and responsibility to take radical measures to restore meaning to the covenant of marriage. Churches, for example, could refuse to marry couples who will not take a church- prescribed marriage preparation course; marry only couples who agree to sign and be held accountable to such a public document, and assign a mentoring couple to all newlyweds before they get married. "Before they are married, individuals could agree to faithfully fulfill all of the church's requirements for marriage preparation, including the signing of a marriage covenant. They could refuse to sign any type of prenuptial agreement. And they could pledge to each other, to their new extended family, and to the community to never divorce and to solemnly fulfill the marriage vows. "By no means is this a comprehensive list of all that needs to be enacted, nor will it eliminate failure, but it does give us a helpful pro-active starting point. "COMMITMENT #2: Fulfill Your Vows by Staying Married. If you are married, you have a scared covenant obligation. Fulfill it! Too many marriages begin to unravel when one of the spouses mentally entertains the possibility of divorce. The notion that divorce is a solution must be rejected. We must fight tenaciously to restore the ideal of marriage for a lifetime. Marital commitment demands perseverance. "The church needs to restore the model of one man and one woman bound together before God for a lifetime. We need more couples like J.L. and Hilda Simpson, godly Christians who wrote a profound note: 'September 9, 1995, made us 46 years together. I was 15 and J.L was 17 when we married. We are now 61 and 63. We could have divorced dozens of times but because we love each other deeply, and because God hates divorce, WE DIDN'T WANT TO BRING THE CURSE OF DIVORCE INTO OUR FAMILY, SO WE DIDN'T.' "Barbara and I have been married since 1972, and we have had our share of illness, tragedy, and disagreements. But the word, 'divorce' has never passed through our lips. May I challenge you to do the same? You need to keep your covenant. You MUST keep your covenant. Your children's marriages, your legacy and strength of the church depend upon it. "COMMITMENT #3: Fulfill Your Vows by Maintaining Emotional and Moral Fidelity. For too many people, adultery is the first step out of a marriage. An emotional or sexual attachment to someone other than your spouse creates intense passions that sabotage trust and steal marital intimacy. To maintain emotional and moral fidelity to your mate, you need to, first, maintain a healthy relationship. Lovingly study your mate to learn what will keep him or her interested and satisfied. Cultivate the fine --and often forgotten -- art of romance. Second, you need to guard your heart in relation to the opposite sex. Restrict your gaze and refuse the temptation to look longingly at members of the opposite sex. Don't fantasize about someone else. Build boundaries around your heart by making yourself accountable to a friend for your secret thoughts. "COMMITMENT #4: Fulfill Your Vows by Praying Faithfully With Your Spouse. Why do so few Christian couples pray together? What could seem more natural than a husband and wife talking intimately together with the One who provides the glue to hold a relationship together? Yet prayer is one of the most challenging disciplines for any married couple to practice. "I think I know why. The enemy of our souls knows how effective prayer is. He'll do anything to prevent it in a marriage. And our flesh gets in the way, too, because prayer demands humility before God. It is hard to be in the midst of some selfish behavior and then pray with your spouse --I know, I've tried and failed! Daily prayer prevents divorce and makes marriage stronger. A national survey commissioned by Family Life Today showed the couples who pray together frequently (at least three time per week) have higher levels of marital satisfaction than those who don't. "What would happen to the divorce rate in the church if husbands & wives would consistently pray together? I believe that the number of divorces could be cut in half within months, and that within a decade divorce would be uncommon in the Christian community. If there's one practical action step you can take to divorce-proof your marriage, this is it: Begin praying daily with your spouse." Many years ago Cindy and I established starting our day by praying together (no matter what time our "day" starts). Yes, it was awkward at first. But it soon became the best part of our day. We can't explain how it strengthens and deepens our relationship, it just does. We also believe it has led to a deeper degree of marital satisfaction for both of us. If you're not currently doing this as a couple we URGE you to start. At least try it for 30 days and see what happens. Don't stress about it; just do it. God doesn't care if you stumble through it. He will honor the intentions of your heart. "You will pray to Him and He will hear you..." (Job 22:27) Let's work to reclaim the "sanctity of marriage," starting with praying together as husbands and wives. We pray you'll have a blessed week. God Bless! Steve and Cindy Wright Cindy and I (Steve) believe that humor (being able to laugh at ourselves
in situations) is as important in marriage as it is to be able to resolve conflict. So, with that that in mind, we ask this question: MEN: Have you had it happen to you - when you're searching for something, you ask your wife where it is and she walks over to the cupboard you've been staring at for 10 minutes and finds it for you right where you said it wasn't? YOU didn't see it there and yet she did! How do our wives do that? How do women physically see what we don't? Well, the following is something that was sent to us (we don't know the original source, however). It was written by a fellow man, Gregg Lewis, on this very subject titled, "Why Women Always Win at Lost and Found." Here is a shortened version of what he said: "For the longest time I figured it must be women's intuition. I just never understood how it is that an able-bodied, fully sighted man can venture into a tiny closet and never find the article of clothing he's searching for. And how is it, when he finally admits defeat and calls out, 'Honey, do you know where my sweater is?' that his wife can walk in, glance around, shove aside a few things and reveal his sweater, hanging boldly in front of him? "How do women do that? None of the marriage books I've read give a man a clue. Seventeen years of first-hand experience hasn't solved the mystery either. But it happened to me again yesterday. I was helping prepare supper when Debbie asked me to get a can of pineapple from the pantry. I looked high and low - twice - before saying, 'I think we're out of pineapple.' 'No,' she insisted 'I'm sure I've seen at least one can in there. Check the very back of the third shelf.' "I began to systematically shift and scrutinize every can, canister, and cereal box. 'No pineapple!' I finally answered with certainty. 'I'm sure it's there,' Debbie said as she walked over to look for herself. I stood right behind her, looking over her shoulder, planning to enjoy the satisfaction (just once) of saying, 'See? What did I tell you?' "She reached in, shoved a bottle of syrup over, pushed aside a jar of salsa, and there at the back of the shelf was a can of pineapple. I muttered an embarrassed, 'Oh.' Debbie, to her credit, said not a word. But silently I asked once again, 'How do women do that?' "I used to think it was a motherhood survival technique. But Debbie did it even before she became a mother. And it isn't just Debbie either... My mom has humiliated my dad the same way for nearly 50 years. And at least once every time I go home for a visit, Mom does it to me. "How can a woman, who has to think twice to remember the points of the compass when she's standing in her own backyard, know exactly where and in what closet of the house I tossed my baseball glove after the final game last summer? Call me paranoid if you want, but lately I've taken to wondering if it's all a plot, if mothers don't roust their daughters from bed in the middle of the night for 'search-and-find' training. But I hate to believe anything that devious of the women I love. I'd prefer to think it's just another example of the balance God designed into the universe. Human beings take in oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide; plants take in carbon dioxide and give off oxygen. Men lose things; and women find things. But that doesn't answer the 'how?' question. "This brings me to a very telling incident that occurred just last night. I noticed our dog had lost his chain collar. 'Debbie, did you take off Caspian's choker?' I asked. 'No, I thought you did.' Have you seen it?' I inquired. When she said she hadn't, I began my search. I checked by the back door where we keep the leash. I walked all over the house, wherever I thought the dog had been. "Our sons were watching TV, so I asked, 'Have you guys seen the dog's collar?' 'Nope.' 'Uh-uh.' 'Ask Lisette, maybe she knows.' "I found my 7-year old daughter outside, riding her bike on the street in front of the house. 'Sweetheart,' I called, 'do you know where Caspian's choker is?' 'It's in the living room,' she replied innocently. 'It's not in the living room!' I declared. 'I've looked there!' She shrugged, 'I saw it in the living room last.' 'Then show me where you saw it.' "She climbed off her bike, and I followed her through the house to the living room. She walked over to one of her slippers that lay in the middle of the floor, picked it up, plunged her hand down into the toe, pulled out the missing choker, and gave me the most charming smile. 'Here it is, right here!' "My immediate reaction was to shake my head thinking once more to myself, 'How do women do that?' But I was glad to find the lost choker; I didn't seriously ponder the question at the time. "It wasn't until I woke up this morning - when the truth hit me. Lisette knew where to find the choker because she was the one who had hidden it there! That's it! That's the answer! "How do women always know just where to find whatever things men are looking for? They're the ones who hide them! So when we get frustrated enough to give up and ask for help, our wives (or mothers or daughters) always know right where to 'discover' them for us. ............................... Of course, it isn't true that women hide things on their husbands so they look like they can 'miraculously" find them - but it sure APPEARS to be the case! So what's the point? What's the benefit of reading this Marriage Message? NUMBER 1: LAUGHTER IS GOOD MEDICINE (as the Bible tells us). And we hope we made you laugh a little. It was good for you! Sometimes we take life too seriously. We need to look for humor even in frustrating situations. It's in there if we look hard enough. NUMBER 2. WE NEED EACH OTHER. Men and women seem to be created to interdependently need each other in many different ways. One has strengths in one way in which the other could use them and vice-versa. And God wants to use those strengths to help each other and work together to accomplish more just as a hand and foot have different strengths which benefit the body as a whole. (See 1 Corinthians 12). So, rather than getting frustrated with each other when a situation comes up where one of us needs the other, this is the opportunity to extend kind-hearted grace, just like God extends to us each and every day. Let's work together in cooperation so that our marriage works at its best - helping each other and showing everyone around us the grace and beauty of a marriage that works TOGETHER to the glory of God. Have a blessed week! Steve and Cindy Wright "What men fear most is criticism and rejection. That doesn't mean that you
can't tell him anything --you can. Burt you have to see if how you're doing it is working or not." (Dr. Phil McGraw) "Maybe you won't get through to the other person as long as you keep approaching him the way you always do." (Michael Nichols) Confronting each other when we have a problem can be most difficult, because if we don't do it right we can make the situation even worse than before. That's why one of our dear friends calls confrontation in a relationship, such as marriage, "CARE-frontation," because we're to confront them in a caring way --speaking the truth in love. On this subject, we'd like to share thoughts written by Dennis and Barbara Rainey featured in their book, "Moments Together for Couples...Devotions for Drawing Near to God and One Another," published by Regal Books. This particular sample devotion is called, "Reality Checks for Confrontations." Please note, however, that we inserted appropriate scripture verses in brackets to further emphasize their excellent points. On this subject they wrote: "As important as it is to be able to lovingly confront your mate when you have a conflict, it is also important not to be judgmental. It's essential that you don't just see your spouse' flaws while ignoring your own. Here are some reality checks Barbara and I have found useful: 1. "CHECK YOUR MOTIVATION. Do you want to help or hurt by what you say? Will bringing this up to lead to healing and oneness? Prayer is a good barometer of motivation. When you take your situation to God you can usually see your motivation for what it is. ["Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is that Head, that is Christ. -Ephesians 4:15] ["Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. - Philippians 4:29] 2. "CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE. Loving confrontation says: 'I care about you. I respect you and I want you to respect me. I want you to know how I feel, but I want to know how YOU feel, too.' Don't hop on your bulldozer and run your partner down. Don't pull up in your dump truck and unload your garbage. Approach your partner lovingly. ["Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself. -Philippians 2:3] 3. "CHECK THE CIRCUMSTANCES. This includes timing, location and setting The time for Barbara to confront me is not just as I walk in from a hard day's work. I need to confront her some time when she isn't settling a squabble with the kids. ["A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. - Proverbs 25:11] 4. "CHECK TO SEE WHAT OTHER PRESSURES MAY BE PRESENT. Be sensitive to where your mate is coming from. What's the context of his or her life right now? ["He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. -Proverbs 13:3] ["There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. -Proverbs 16:25] 5. "BE READY TO TAKE IT AS WELL AS TO DISH IT OUT. Sometimes confronting your mate can boomerang on you. Beware of what psychologists call 'projecting' --seeing your own faults in others. You may start to give your spouse some 'friendly advice' only to learn that the problem you are describing is actually your fault! ["A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. -Proverbs 18:2] ["And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? -Matthew 7:3] DISCUSS: "Think back to a confrontation that didn't go especially well. Can you determine whether more attention to one or more of the above suggestions may have made a more fruitful discussion? PRAY: "for the courage to confront and the love for self-awareness to keep such episodes as positive contributors to intimacy in your home." ..................................................... The Bible tells us in Titus 3:2, to "Remind the people to ...be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men." And so please consider yourself reminded, as we're reminded ourselves, as husband and wife. "If only I was married to someone else who cares more about me and our marriage, life would be so much better!" ..."It's because of him (or her) that I act the way I do at home. I act like a different person with everyone else!" ..."I know I have my faults, but it's not as bad as what he (she) does --that's why this marriage is such a mess!"
Have you ever voiced one of those statements? Most of us go through times when we think such things. But have you considered... just how easy is it to be married to YOU? Please prayerfully consider the weaknesses you personally contribute to your marital relationship. Perhaps this could be a personal wake-up call in some way. The following are a few questions to ask yourself: - Do you speak to your spouse in a way that could be perceived by him or her as dishonoring or belittling? (You may feel justified in speaking this way but the result could be that your spouse will eventually avoid being with you and instead seek to be with others who don't do this.) - Do you give your full attention when he or she is trying to communicate with you --listening with your eyes, ears, and with your heart? Or are you continually distracted so your spouse could feel that what he/she has to say is unimportant to you? - Do you have a tendency to lecture or berate him/her, like some parents treat a "naughty" child? - When you're angry, are you explosive so that he/she could feel assaulted (which could result in him or her shutting down emotionally from truly hearing what you're trying to communicate)? - Do you treat "outsiders" with more love and consideration than you do your own spouse? - Do you use cutting humor with your spouse, saying, "I'm just kidding..." and yet he or she doesn't think it's funny? And do you do this publicly so your spouse feels all the more humiliated? - Does your marriage "partner" complain that you act like you're better than him or her (and deep down, this may be true)? Think about it. - Do you continually act irritable or are you hypersensitive in your actions with him or her? - Do you keep bringing up things from the past --things he or she has asked for forgiveness previously? (Please realize, this can result in feelings that it's hopeless that he or she will ever be able to escape past actions with you, no matter what he or she does.) - Are you living a trustworthy life so your spouse doesn't need to be concerned that you will violate his or her trust? And do you seek ways to show your trustworthiness? - Do you participate in anything Christ would see as "deeds of darkness" which could bring unhealthiness into your marital partnership? (See Ephesians 5:11) - Do you seek to be a peacemaker in your home? (See Ephesians 4:3 and Romans 12:18) - Do you protect your spouse's feelings and dignity in how you speak and interact with him/her both in private AND in public when you're together with others? (See 1 Corinthians 13:7) - Do you reveal private matters, saying things about your spouse to others that he or she could perceive as hurtful in some way? - Have you become such a serious person that you rarely laugh and forget to infuse fun times into your marriage --times like you used to have together earlier in your relationship? - Do you make an effort to show that you value being married to him or her? - Do you honor his/her communication "style?" If you're a good communicator and your spouse isn't, do you run over him (her) with your words? (This could leave him or her feeling stupid so he or she avoids "communication" times altogether. Just because you're good with words and your spouse isn't, it doesn't mean he/she is wrong and you're right.) - Are you a negative person to live with? Do you need to make an effort to be more positive in how you interact with your spouse so you don't drag down his/her spirits, as well? - Do you look for ways to compliment and encourage your spouse (when you're alone together as well as when you're out together with others)? - Do you receive your spouse's compliments in positive ways so he or she doesn't feel dismissed or discredited when he/she says nice things to you? - Are you gracious when your spouse messes up in some way, so he or she still feels accepted and loved by you? - Do you try to make your marriage a better one? Do you show by your actions as well as by your words that you're together in partnership with him or her? So what do you think now? Just how easy are YOU to live with? Do you need to make some adjustments in how you interact in your marriage relationship? Certainly, your spouse may have many faults that you even point out, as well. But please consider that if you blame your spouse for your wrong actions, you're playing the same "blame game" that Adam did when God confronted him with the wrongdoing. Adam replied, "It's the woman you put here with me --she gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate it." Even so, God didn't consider Adam's excuses to be valid. And the same goes for yours (ours). God condemned Adam just as He did Eve. One person's sin doesn't excuse or wipe out the wrongness of what the other does. If you feel convicted, we hope you'll ask the Lord to help you work on your own issues --your own "planks" that need to be removed. As admonished in the scriptures: "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." (Matthew 7:3-5) "If any of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone." (John 8:7) As you, and as we consider the spouse WE are, may we pray individually: "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalm 139:23-24). May God help and guide us together in our marriage journeys, Cindy and Steve Wright The marital relationship is supposed to be a place where your feelings are
safe with your spouse because you are in partnership --being careful and considerate with each others feelings. You don't expect to be ridiculed, deceived, or assaulted with poisonous words and/or physical abuse. And neither should you do any of these things to your spouse. And yet this is what is happening in homes all over the world in epidemic proportions -- even with those that claim to be Christ-followers. It's absolutely heart breaking. And it's ABSOLUTELY WRONG --something that needs to be addressed and worked against. God shows us throughout the Bible, that we are to live our lives together in such a way that we communicate the gospel both WITH and WITHOUT words - -by our actions AND our words. We have to be mindful of both. As it tells us in the Bible, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves --DO WHAT IT SAYS. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man, who looks at his face in the mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it --he will be blessed in what he does. If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless." (James 1:22-26) "I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:1-3). Are you living your married lives with each other in this manner? Is your marriage a place where you are "bearing with one another in love?" Dr. Fred Lowery, author of the book, "Covenant Marriage," wrote the following on this issue: "You've got to build a safety net --an atmosphere so that each person is able to be honest. I can say what I feel. I can express my feelings, my emotions, knowing that I'm not going to be made fun of, laughed at, or put down or taken advantage of. You build that kind of closeness. "It's pulling back the layers of our life because you're safe with that person --that one person where you can open the shutters of your life and be absolutely real, knowing that you're going to be loved in that process. There is no greater key to marriage than safe communication, because if you can't communicate, you can't have a great marriage." That is what we hope to address throughout this year. Our goal is to help us all make our marriages ones where the love of God flows freely --where we unconditionally exhibit the love and grace of Christ to each other. We see this as a year of "Choices/Changes." It is a year where we hope to inspire all of us to work to tear down every "stronghold" of our married lives that "sets itself up against the knowledge of God" and "take captive every thought [and action] to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:4-5). Simply put, a stronghold is "a place having strong defenses; a fortified place; a strongly defended place." Sometimes having a stronghold in our attitude towards certain actions can be a good thing --when we strongly defend and do that which is right. But when we strongly hold onto an attitude or behavior that "sets itself up against the knowledge of God" -- that which God says is wrong, we need to tear it down and destroy it. That is our goal --to work on those areas of our married lives that are sinful strongholds, where we need to make pro-active choices and changes that reflect the love of Christ in all we do. When we are making good choices, the changes will be those of gradual increase. Where we are making poor choices in how we live with our spouse, the changes will need to be more pro-active in tearing down strongholds of sin that oppose the ways of Christ. To do this we really need to define what sin is because "until we understand what it is we'll never take its consequences seriously" (Ravi Zacaharias). And unless we fully recognize sin we may not see how important it is to root it out and destroy it. Susanna Wesley gave this definition of sin: "Sin is whatever: Weakens your sense of reasoning... Impairs the tenderness of your heart... Obscures your sense of God, or... Takes away your desire for spiritual things. In short, if anything increases the authority of the flesh over the Spirit, no matter how good it is in and of itself --that to you is sin." We want to ask you: does any of your conduct fall within one of those categories? Really think about it. If so, you need to recognize that this is a sin stronghold that needs to be destroyed. And another problem, which happens all too often, is that people try to "normalize" sin by getting others to buy into it. This is something that Dr. Charles Swindoll warns us about. He said, "You need to recognize how the enemy of our faith encourages us to: -- "Notice another person's sin more than your own. -- "Define sin as less heinous than it really is - perhaps regarding it as understandable, in some cases even desirable. -- "Explain sin as a legitimate reaction to life's disappointments and therefore, worthy more of compassion than judgment. -- "Treat sin as something merely naughty, like a childish prank. -- "Evaluate sin as merely a regrettable path to legitimate relief from pressure and pain - a path made necessary by whoever designed the world." If you recognize any of these sinful strongholds in your thinking and your actions within your marriage we hope you will work together with us to tear them down, making this year of "Choices and Changes" --catching and reflecting the love of God in every way possible! Keep in mind, "Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen your love and reverence, trust and obedience for Jesus Christ. Your marriage is not about you. It's about Christ --becoming as Christ" (Emerson Eggerichs). That is our continual goal! When was the last time you said, "Thanks" to your spouse? Oh, we don't
mean saying, "thanks" for passing the salt or even "thanks" when they get something for you that you couldn't get on your own; most people do that. We mean saying "thanks" for some of the little niceties that your spouse does that you may overlook in expressing thanks. And yet those niceties probably make your day a little brighter when they do them for you, so why not thank them? Here in the United States we just celebrated Thanksgiving - a holiday that is dedicated for giving thanks. There's historical significance to the day for us in our nation. And most of us here still celebrate its historical as well as its spiritual significance to us. It originally was a day of preparing a festive dinner together for those who were helpful to the first American settlers. It was their way of saying thanks to God for His blessings and then to those who had helped them in so many ways. Unfortunately, many people today forget or ignore why this celebration ever happened in the first place. How we pray we never do! And yet this morning during my prayer time, I (Cindy) realized that many of us also forget to say thanks in our everyday lives - apart from this special holiday. First off, we forget to express our thankfulness to God for how He has blessed our lives in so many ways. We may not have perfect lives this side of heaven and many of us live in very difficult situations, yet there is always SOMETHING, for which to give thanks. Things always could be worse. Even in the most difficult of situations there is some overlooked blessing that we may not be focusing on because of the bigger situation that's receiving our attention. The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 that we are to "give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." What we believe this means is that there is always something, either apparent to hidden, for which we can be thankful. We may not understand why God has allowed certain things to happen to us but we need to trust His heart and ultimate plans for the world (including us) that He will work some kind of good out of it. For that we can find reasons to be thankful! Also, we forget to express thanksgiving to our spouse. You may have heard the term of performing "Random Acts of Kindness" - which is finding ways to bless others by intentionally doing something kind (or nice) for them. It's random because it's done spontaneously (and is usually unexpected). It may be taking them out to lunch, or washing their car (without being asked), or tucking a little gift of money in a place where they will eventually find it with a note that says, "This is a little something for you to use. Enjoy!" Those are just a few examples of doing random acts of kindness for others. But what about expressing to our spouse "Random Words of Thanks?" Some examples of "Random Words of Thanks" would be to: - Thank them for getting up each morning to go to work. There are many spouses who decide to be lazy and not provide financially for their family, so they don't roll out of bed to go to work. If you have a spouse who does go to work, look for different times and different ways to express thanks. This may surprise them, but express that you appreciate their commitment to doing this (especially if they go to a job every day that they don't especially enjoy). It's nice to know someone notices things like this sometimes. - Thank them for planning the meals, and shopping for the food, and all the work they put in for preparing what you eat each day. Even if you helped in doing part of this, the initiative they showed in making sure everything was done should be appreciated. Some might say, "Well, this is all part of being married. This is what is expected of my spouse!" The question is, "Why?" Where is it written in the marriage contract that they HAVE to do this because they married you? This is an expectation - be it societal, cultural or personal - it's still an expectation. So why not express thanks from time-to-time that your spouse actually does it? Some spouses don't… or won't do it. - Thank them for being dependable and honorable. There are so many temptations presented in our world to act different than this. There are spouses who give in to the temptation to drink heavily, and/or take illegal drugs, and/or spend time in dishonorable places and situations. When we have a spouse who is dependable and obviously honors the marriage commitment it would be nice to let them know you appreciate who they are and how they make the choices to honor your marital partnership. Realize that you're blessed to have a spouse who is a "Promise Keeper." Now, let them KNOW you realize it by thanking them. - Thank them for the little things they do that may have gone unnoticed in the past like: changing a light bulb when it's burned out, or filling the automobile with gasoline when it needs it, or reading to the children (especially when it gives you a little bit of a break to have "quiet time" yourself), or cleaning or sweeping, or painting a room, or gardening, or repairing something, or purchasing gifts for the family, etc. - all without being asked to do so. Those are just a few things for which you can thank them. But go ahead… think of others. And then express your thanks. The challenge is to express it. Make this a time of "Thanks-GIVING," not "Thanks-BEING." Being thankful is great. But sometimes we need to also verbally express it. We've known of marriages where the spouse has left the other for someone else because they felt "unappreciated" or "taken for granted" and eventually found someone else who lavished their appreciation upon them or have made them feel needed and "special" again. We're not saying this is right for them to have done this, because it isn't. But what we are saying is everyone wants to feel appreciated. And every marriage could use a little tender loving care to make sure that each marital partner isn't feeling neglected or taken for granted. We didn't take each other for granted before marriage, which helped us to fall in love with each other in the first place, so now that we're married, we need to still make the effort to express appreciation to each other. Our needs don't go away just because we place a wedding ring on our finger and sign a marriage license/contract. We need to be partners in "Thanks-GIVING" as well as "Thanks-BEING." Do you express a heart of thanksgiving to your spouse? If not, now is the time to begin! We're told that "a word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver" (Proverbs 25:11)."I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:3-6) Are you mad over money problems in your marriage? If you are, financial consultant Ron Blue claims that you aren't alone. He states, "Money is the reason given in 50 percent of divorce cases, but I believe money problems are symptoms of an inability to relate to each other on other levels. How you use money reflects your priorities. For example, one spouse may want to furnish the house, while the other wants to take a vacation. They call it a money problem, but it's really a priority problem, or a problem of communicating about their priorities." It's been said, "Money has power far beyond its ability to purchase goods and services. It has the ability to negatively change one's attitude towards our spouse when we don't learn how to use it as a marital team." Haven't you seen that to be true? Spending issues sure can cause a lot of division within relationships! Steve and I know that for a fact! It took a lot of years for us to learn how to give and take so we could be united in how "our" money is spent (rather than "his" or "hers"). It's not that we don't each have a little To spend our own way, but when it comes to bigger purchases, we've made it our goal and commitment to be united as a marital team (and we are). To look further into this matter, we'll share a portion of a Kyria.com article written by Beverly Burch titled, "Stop the Money Madness." In this article Beverly wrote, "You may not want to discuss personal finances but it's important that you and your spouse learn healthy ways to talk about money. And while the size of your bank account is significant, it's the meaning you assign to money that makes the biggest impact on your marriage -for good or for ill. "A factor that affects how couples develop a sense of how to spend their money as a marital team is coming to an understanding of how their concept of spending was shaped by the family they grew up in. Spouses may end up clashing because they came from families, which handled money quite differently. A woman who grew up equating money with security might marry a man from a family of spenders who expressed love through buying expensive gifts. In either case, our own financial style feels right because it reflects attitudes and values that are familiar. "Moving from individual to shared control of finances can feel threatening to newlyweds who are still learning to trust one another in other areas of life. Money can become the focus of conflicts that are really about something else. For instance, a newlywed might not accuse his or her mate of self-centeredness. It's easier to criticize excessive spending instead. "As couples move into their middle years, no longer does the question ' mine or yours?' drive disagreements over money. Instead, the questions multiply as the couple's responsibilities mount, 'Who gets what? How much? When? and how are we going to manage it?' Although some middle-years marriages are troubled by crisis, most simply begin to experience pressure from the weight of having more responsibilities & at the same time the shrinking of available time & money. "Later Years: CONTENTMENT or RESENTMENT? As a couple mover into their Later years, they see how their former financial choices have affected their current choices. As retirement approaches, the most important financial question becomes 'How are we going to live on a fixed income?' Resentments that weren't solved in earlier years now begin to surface. At this stage, arguments over money usually take the form of blame for decisions long past the possibility of change. "A negative focus on the past can cause problems with a couple's ability to work together on current financial decisions. Unless they can let go of resentment and blame, they won't be able to move on peacefully and productively with the rest of their lives." Let me (Cindy) interject here, before sharing more of Beverly's article. This last point is an important one. The pastor who married my husband Steve and me, gave us great advice before we married (and we thank God he did). He told us to work NOT to argue over money. He said that once we were to the point of arguing, the problem was already at hand and arguing over it would only make matters worse. He told us to instead, face the problem - -work together to resolve it and then talk about how NOT to get in that predicament again. It wasn't to be about playing the "blame game" but rather to figure out how we could work together on our finances to find solutions to the problem. I'm sure that small piece of advice saved us hundreds of arguments. Because of it, we've learned to let go of the past and instead worked towards making better financial decisions TOGETHER to build a better future. According to Beverly Burch, "Here's how to get a head start in an area where couples struggle: - "WITHOUT SELF-CRITICISM OR SELF-JUSTIFICATION, IDENTIFY YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY. What does money mean to you? Does it make you feel powerful, anxious, guilty, loved, responsible or secure? What assumptions and values about money did you develop while you were growing up? - "AVOID LABELING YOUR SPOUSE'S ATTITUDES AS 'RIGHT' OR 'WRONG.' Try to understand one another's money history. Listen for the hurts, fears wishes and hopes that get funneled into money. Try to empathize rather than criticize. Honoring each other's needs can help you respectfully negotiate your financial decisions. Remember, respect breeds trust. - "LEARN FROM EACH OTHER. Temporarily out aside your own beliefs and see what your spouse can teach you. A saver can learn a new kind of security when stretched by a spouse who exchanges money for present enjoyment, or who finds satisfaction in giving. - "TOGETHER, LIST YOUR PRIORITIES. What is valuable to you? Identify the top priorities you share and what this means for your budget? In my husband's family, the adventure of traveling around the United States was a high priority, and their budget was geared toward that. They did without some things, but family gatherings today are enlivened by the stories they're able to talk about because of their travels. - "GET SOUND ADVICE. Some conflicts over money come from not being aware of your options. Ask someone you trust to refer you to a qualified financial advisor who will respect your priorities." .............................................................. Let me tell you that Steve and I are not "qualified financial advisors" but on our web site at www.marriagemissions.com in the "Finances in Marriage" section, we link to some who are. And we also provide a link within this Marriage Message (on the web site) to the entire article by Beverly Burch (so you can learn more). From Crown Financial Ministries we give you the following closing thoughts to prayerfully consider: "Christians who are not experiencing peace in financial matters should reevaluate and ask themselves: 'Who is in control of my financial decisions? Who is directing my paths? Am I being controlled by God or by my own desires?'" Please make this a matter of prayer. If you aren't using your money in a way that honors each other and honors God, we hope you will make the effort to start to change things today. Cindy and Steve Wright |
Ana & Andre Schoonbee God uses us to motivate and encourage the body. Authors
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